Father’s Role: Child Devel­op­ment Self-Image, Secu­rity or Father Wound!

A father’s role is cru­cial to a child’s growth and has pro­found bear­ing on the social, emo­tional, and intel­lec­tual devel­op­ment of a child espe­cially self-image and secu­rity.  As the priest of a home, the father has a man­date to bless his chil­dren by wak­ing up their spirit by speak­ing bless­ings, words of encour­age­ment to them — also role-models, train­ing and teach­ing chil­dren to walk in God’s ways — Gen­er­a­tional Bless­ings.  It is the father who estab­lishes the iden­tity and gives them significance.  The father’s pur­pose to bring up his chil­dren in the Lord, leav­ing behind a legacy of right­eous­ness.   Chil­dren who grow up with fathers who stay involved in their lives enjoy all kinds of benefits:

• bet­ter school performance
• less trou­ble with the law
• bet­ter jobs and careers
• bet­ter rela­tion­ships with others
• higher self-esteem

If the father does not do the above for a child, the child will have prob­lems with self accep­tance since their spirit man is asleep.  Chil­dren will feel dis­con­nected in life and with God.  Chil­dren will also have iden­tity prob­lems and go look­ing for love in all the wrong places to fill that void, if in sex, drugs, etc.

Chil­dren can grow up with earthly fathers in the home but there are four neg­a­tive sce­narous which will affect your rela­tion­ship with God and Jesus.  How was your rela­tion­ship with your earthly father!  Did you know how you related to your earthly father affects your rela­tion­ship with God?

Did you have The Author­i­tar­ian Father is more con­cerned with com­pli­ance than rela­tion­ship.  He insist being done his way.  He is not inter­ested in children’s opin­ions, desires or goals.  He wants only obe­di­ence.  Hav­ing this view of God usu­ally moti­vates peo­ple to rebel instead of obey.

The Abu­sive Father destroys the person’s abil­ity to trust because of delib­er­ately inflict­ing pain, hurt­ing them emo­tion­ally, men­tally, phys­i­cally or sex­u­ally.  Usu­ally a per­son who has an abu­sive father sees them­selves as some­one used than val­ued in relationships.

The Dis­tant / Pas­sive Father is one who rarely says  “I love you”.  He doesn’t share in joy or pain,

The Accus­ing Father is crit­i­cal and judges every fail­ure.  He thinks this will moti­vate you to do bet­ter and to try harder.  He rarely gives encour­age­ment or affirms.  This kind of father can cause peo­ple to view their heav­enly Father as an angry judge who is never satisfied.

The Absent Father is one who is absent because of death, divorce, work or dis­in­ter­est.  The absent father is just not there and makes chil­dren feel aban­doned and neglected by God as well.

Fathers con­tribute to the modeling/development of good com­mu­ni­ca­tion skills and trust or Father Wound. 

Dads have a pow­er­ful influ­ence on how girls and boys are far more likely to show eat­ing dis­or­dered  behav­ior, self-cutting, have low self-esteem, feel lonely, feel not accepted and suf­fer from depression .

How you might be affected liv­ing in a dys­func­tional home — Father Wound:

• feel­ings of unwor­thi­ness and inse­cure — need­ing atten­tion from oth­ers to feel good about themselves
• feel­ings of depres­sion and thoughts of sui­cide to escape the loneliness
• lack of self-confidence
• have issues with smok­ing, drink­ing, or use drugs
• need­ing approval from oth­ers to feel good about yourself
• a per­fec­tion­ist per­son hav­ing unre­al­is­tic expec­ta­tion of self and oth­ers, and being too hard on oneself
• tend to avoid or ignore responsibilities
• have a dif­fi­cult to find what you’re feel­ing or express feelings
• tend to think in all-or-nothing terms (black and white)
• feel­ings of  lonely even in pres­ence of others
• it is it dif­fi­cult for you to ask for what you need from others
• it is dif­fi­cult for you to main­tain inti­mate relationships
•  you find it dif­fi­cult to trust others
• you tend to hang on to hurt­ful or destruc­tive relationships
• you are more aware of oth­ers’ needs and feel­ings than your own
• you find it par­tic­u­larly dif­fi­cult to deal with anger or criticism
• you find your­self wait­ing for dis­as­ter to strike even when things are going well in your life
• avoid­ing con­flict at any price, and will often repress their own feel­ings and opin­ions to keep the peace
• appre­hen­sion over aban­don­ment by others

Boys Grow­ing Up With Same Sce­nario — Father Wound

• Prob­lems with the law
• Abu­sive to wives and children
• Jail sen­tences
• drugs and alcohol
• Bul­ly­ing in school

Heal­ing the Father Wound — Bro­ken Heart

God loves you more than you know. He wants to give you what you never had if you will open your­self up to Him. He wants to go into the reser­voir of that pain and abide, and turn it into rivers of love.

Psalm 147:3Psalm 147:3
Eng­lish: King James Ver­sion (1611) — KJV
3 He healeth the bro­ken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. wounds: Heb. griefs  

WP-Bible plu­gin He heals the bro­ken­hearted And binds up their wounds.

Romans 8:15Romans 8:15
Eng­lish: King James Ver­sion (1611) — KJV
15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adop­tion, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.  

WP-Bible plu­gin For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adop­tion by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

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