Yes, the pain is deep, loosing reputation, betrayal especially when the other person believes you’ve betrayed them because God tells you to follow him and not them. Even if they believe you made a promise but the other person did not hear the other part I said many years ago that when I got to busy for God, I was going to lay it down and man God made me live up to that.
Unfortunately, me leaving was a betrayal to the other person. I have to obey His ways and many times he takes people apart and sets them on other paths. Many times you have no understanding why but did Abraham understand when the Lord told him to leave and go to a strange land?
Through trials and tribulations of all this, the pain, the hurt and the loss, I had to see what Jesus went through when He hung on the cross to give us life spiritually as well as physically. He came to overcome and I can overcome according to John 16:33John 16:33
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33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
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“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Not only that but the Lord is producing perseverance in me in accordance to Romans 5:3Romans 5:3
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3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
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“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,…”
When you are in a place of preparation and healing and restoration and the waiting, you cannot be anxious but the Lord will guard your heart and mind from the attacks of the enemy or temptations according to Philippians 4:6–7Philippians 4:6–7
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6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
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“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
We serve such an awesome God of the Lord most high and we can count those trials and tribulations as joy according to James 1:2James 1:2
English: King James Version (1611) — KJV
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; temptation: or, trials
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“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,”
It is not easy to give up something you love, birthed, and given your heart to and then have to lay it all down. Not only that but give all the money, equipment and BIH. I gave it all up according to the Lord Most High. Some of the ministries have opinions of me that are not true. They don’t know what took place but that is part of God has to be your all so that you are not concerned about what others think.
In the past, I would try to fix things to only make it worse. It is better to leave it alone and trust God. God knows the truth and that should count. We get in trouble when we try to fix our reputation with man. Could it be an idol — loved by all man?
Man always ruins others reputations and mine certainly was through several avenues of people — fiery darts. Praise the Lord!
I had to see these were fiery darts of testing according to 1 Peter 4:121 Peter 4:12
English: King James Version (1611) — KJV
12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
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“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.”
Fiery darts come from people who are the closest to you — friends, family, ministries, etc. Again I had to remember Jesus on the cross saying Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. I look that God is testing my heart and my reactions. I’m forever grateful of BIH for my healing, for the ministry in Lewisville for loving me and accepting me and pointing me in the right direction. I can truly say I care for all these people regardless if they think of me on earth. Their opinions do not matter.
As long as I know I’ve done right and areas it was not handled I went to the Lord for forgiveness and know I’m forgiven and move forward.
The enemy wants to stop you and keep you in the past, but I’m moving forward to the things of the Lord even though I would rather be a bump on the log. I would have to say these trials has given me a deeper love for people in God’s way of love.
Isaiah 43:19Isaiah 43:19
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19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
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19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. ”
I love people, not what they can do for me or fulfill anything in me but because my Lord Jesus Christ loves them as well.
Even though I felt weak and broken I knew I could do all things according to 2 Corinthians 12:92 Corinthians 12:9
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9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
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But he said to me,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. “ That is a promise when we feel weak, broken, bleeding inside, etc. we are made perfect in weakness because then it is more of God and me more out of the way. That is how we are suppose to look at weakness.”
I would have to say my faith was being tested and many times just wanted to give up and part of me just wanted to disappear or be absorbed by the air and not exist. But, I knew that is what the Lord did not want but for me to get back up and go forward even in my weakness and to count it all joy according to James 1:2James 1:2
English: King James Version (1611) — KJV
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; temptation: or, trials
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“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. … ”
My faith has been strengthened. I’m not the same person. It now takes a lot to take me down. I see God in all situations and that he is working it out regardless if I can see it or not like Heb. 11:1Heb. 11:1
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11
1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. substance: or, ground, or, confidence
WP-Bible plugin — I cannot go by what I see but what I cannot see and trust God’s word and praise him for the good result even though it is not happening.
That means standing strong and not being frightened. You cannot be afraid of your enemies. When you have a ministry, you have enemies. Just like Joshua, I was going into new territory and cannot be afraid according to Joshua 1:9Joshua 1:9
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9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
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“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
I really hope this helps someone who is in the ministry and being attacked with fiery darts to not give up. Because all these things are tests of faith according to 1 Peter 1:71 Peter 1:7
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7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
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“So that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ”
Part 1 — Trials and Tribulations
Part 3 Trials and Tribulations